Who am I, beginning my blog post with a Selena Gomez song title? The fact is, the past few weeks have been, well, life altering. And the best way I know how to deal with my feelings is by writing them down, so here goes.

UNSETTLED IN MELBOURNE

I love Melbourne. Heck, I even wrote a post last week about 15 reasons you should all move here. I know it is an amazing city, but unfortunately I don’t think I have gotten as much out of it as I would have with a strong friendship base. I am a solo traveller, so I am quite content spending time wandering city streets by myself. But there is only so much time even an introvert can be alone, without feeling lonely.

Don’t get me wrong, I have made a couple of friends here, from work and previous trips, and I am so glad to have them in my life. But it’s just nothing like the friendship circle I had in Vancouver. I think once I met the amazing people in Canada, and knew what it felt like to always have someone there, I couldn’t go back to solidarity, to Friday nights in front of the TV. I miss them all so much, and this restlessness has left me feeling unsettled in Melbourne. I wish it were different, but the fact is, it isn’t.

NYE with friends in Vancouver

WHAT THE HEART WANTS

I have spoken previously of my desire to live the expat life again, but this time somewhere different. My grandad was born in England, so it would be pretty simple for me to gain an ancestral visa and live in the UK. My heart was contemplating a move to either Edinburgh, or good ol’ London town, in mid-2017. But then something changed. On Easter Monday in fact. I just happened to be looking back through old photos my friend, Eric printed for me before I left Vancouver, and I suddenly felt so sad. I realised I might never find a group of people like that again, unless I moved back to Vancouver.

I immediately messaged Kate, a fellow Aussie I met in Vancouver who is back in her hometown of Sydney. Turns out she felt the same way, and all of a sudden we were planning our Vancouver bucket list of things we need to do this time. Ever since I voiced this decision aloud, I feel sure it is the right move. Yes, moving to the UK would make European travel a lot more convenient. But I was undecided about where I want to move to for starters (see above). Plus, I still have many places I want to see in North America and beyond. I mean, I’ve only visited about 20 states. I told myself I had to stop thinking about the country counting, and think about what is best for my head and heart.

I really feel like something has been missing in my life, and I think only Vancouver can fill that void. I miss the city and the constant adventures. I miss the familiarity and the friendship. I miss the enjoyment: from festivals to gigs to markets, there was never a dull moment.

I know plans can change, but I don’t think this one will (nor do I want it too). I love Vancouver and with my fellow travel partner-in-crime in tow, I believe this time around expat life will be even better. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and I know there was a reason my head decided to move to Canada in the first place. This also means there must be a reason my heart is yearning to return. Life is too short not to follow your dreams.

I don’t regret leaving Vancouver in the first place, because I needed to return to Australia and see my family, live in another awesome city, and save A LOT. But come this time next year, I know I will definitely be ready for a new adventure.

So now I have made my plans even more public, I guess it is official. As long as I get a visa next year, Vancity I am coming for you.

If you have any places that I need to add to the Vancouver bucket list 2.0, fire away in the comments!

Have you felt this way about a city before?